Corona Community
3/13/20 - It's all anyone can talk about. Are we overreacting? Not scared enough? The answer is probably both. We discuss how to keep your screwed on while dealing with an extremely serious situation and some do's and don'ts for controlling the contagion of panic. Yes, social distancing is a good idea right now. But even as you keep your germs to yourself, don't forget to check on your friends, get to know your neighbors, see who needs help, and as always, wash your hands.
Transcript below. Image by Sara Shakeel
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Overcast | Pocket Casts | Spotify.
CREDITS
Producer: Gina Delvac
Hosts: Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman
Theme song: Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn
Composer: Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs.
Associate Producer: Jordan Bailey
Visual Creative Director: Kenesha Sneed
Merch Director: Caroline Knowles
Editorial Assistant: Laura Bertocci
Design Assistant: Brijae Morris
Ad sales: Midroll
TRANSCRIPT: CORONA COMMUNITY
[Ads]
(1:10)
Aminatou: Welcome to Call Your Girlfriend.
Ann: A podcast for long-distance besties everywhere.
Aminatou: She's Ann Friedman!
Ann: She is Aminatou Sow.
Aminatou: Today's agenda is coronavirus. It's corona time.
[Theme Song]
(1:45)
Aminatou: Hi you, how's it going?
Ann: Here we are in the same room.
Aminatou: We are. We're in the same hotel room which I have to say is very cozy today.
Ann: it is a shockingly cozy . . . I mean I think it's also because you are in Los Angeles and it's a rainy L.A. day, really delightful. [Laughter]
Aminatou: I know. I want my sun back.
Ann: See? It's like this is how, it's like if you live here you're like ah, a rainy day. I was so excited last night when the rain was blowing in. I respect your desire for sunshine though.
Aminatou: It's just one of my first experiences with Gina Delvac who produces this one very podcast.
Ann: Who? Gina who?
Aminatou: Gina Delvac, the producer of Call Your Girlfriend and like a boss lady all around, you should know her. One of our very first not-group interactions I remember very clearly. I'd been in L.A. We had kind of all gone out, like the whole gang, and maybe we had exchanged phone numbers very recently. And one of my first two texts from Gina was I was in L.A. and it rained and it was this profused like Angelino apology for the weather and for the rain. [Laughter] And it made me love her even more and I was like wow, you feel ashamed about the weather pattern of your city? Cannot relate but thank you for that.
Ann: Oh man. I feel mostly grateful or apologetic that you came all the way here because it is a difficult time to get on an airplane and fly.
Aminatou: We're talking about coronavirus obvi.
Ann: Today's agenda, just do it.
Aminatou: Just do it. Today's agenda is coronavirus. Its corona time. As you know I am a germophobe. I'm never ashamed of it but I know I have behaviors that always make me seem odd.
Ann: [Laughs] Never to me. Never to me okay?
Aminatou: The one positive thing about coronavirus I have to say is that now I seem normal, you know?
Ann: Your seat-wiping life is normalized.
Aminatou: Yes. I'm like I get on a plane and I've been Cloroxing down my seat for years and now everyone else is doing it. Or, you know, the obsessive handwashing and whatever. So on one hand to all my germaphobes rise up. We have been training for this our whole lives. [Laughter] And truly there is a part of it that makes me . . . like I get very emotional. I'm like ugh, finally normalized. And on the other hand I'm like oh yeah, everything about this is scary and awful and I don't feel great as a human being finding out how not-clean my other fellow human beings are as I am finding out now.
Ann: Even though that's a truth you knew deep within you.
Aminatou: You know it right? But then you . . . now I understand it and I see it and it is shocking. The amount of people that do not wash their hands regularly, you know, it's shook. Or people who come home and don't immediately take their clothes off or people who wear their shoes in their homes. Like I understand this but now that I see it it doesn't sit well with me. But also, you know, we're all in this thing together.
Ann: Yes. The thing I've been troubled to find out about my fellow humans which I already kind of knew is just the level of I'm going to protect myself and my family at the expense of everyone else. Basically the kind of run on masks, run on industrial-sized Purel part of this whole story, that coupled with some of the xenophobia, the stories like my friend's partner who is of Chinese descent who was screamed at with violent slurs because he coughed on the street, things like that that are happening where I'm like yeah, I understand that we live in a society that is highly individualistic, that is super-racist. All of that stuff is there obviously. But it's like yes, the how people are handling germs part of it is for real but that part of it too has been profoundly sad to me, like watching that play out in real time.
Aminatou: It's sad but it's also not surprising. And also I think obviously coronavirus is spreading very fast and I think it's very fluid and it's changing is why we're feeling it very acutely. But the truth is that this is in our system already, right? It's like a society where you can choose your own side about vaccination is 100 percent a society that is going to make a run on face masks and Purel.
Ann: Absolutely.
(6:05)
Aminatou: Because everyone believes they're the exception and their families are pure and important but everyone else gets to do that. The xenophobia spreading is spreading just as fast as the virus but, you know, I'm like if you read books you understand that the origins of every Chinatown in this country is actually because of racism and also you understand that it cuts really hard for people who are Asian-Americans because on one hand everyone's like oh, they're a model minority and on the other hand they're like the minute they cough we're all going to get diseases. And that has been in our history forever and ever and ever.
And a thing that has been really . . . it's like on one hand when civilians do it it enrages me, like I am prepared to deal with that. A place that it's been really hard for me to see a lot of this anti-Asian sentiment has honestly been in press photos where coronavirus is everywhere. Like sure it was reported in China first. If you're reading about Italy it's there and every time I see a press photo from pretty much around the world about a headline about the disease it's always an Asian person.
And watching this kind of uncritical thinking just spread I was like yeah, of course, racism is also a virus and it's here and it's contaminating all of us and that has been like really, really, really, really hard to deal with.
Ann: Yeah. And I think it really . . . another reason I find myself very fixated on how people are talking about coronavirus is it feels like all of our ambient fears about instability in this moment like economic insecurity that some people are feeling, any kind of ambient fears that people have are being channeled through how people are responding to this virus. And I think when you have a population of people that feel insecure or scared it's like xenophobia is never far behind. That's why you get white nationalist leaders who stoke fear. You know, these things are very related and I think we can talk a little bit more about government response to this too but I think this feeling of this is what's under the fear, it's deeply, deeply unsettling.
(8:20)
Aminatou: It's deeply unsettling, you know? And the government response, part of that has been I expected incompetence from the government. I was like when you couple anti-science with defunding every service that's important and American patriarchal exceptionalism I was like yes the response to this is going to be a nightmare. But the racism from the administration has also been really shocking to me. I don't understand that I can still get astounded by this. In the early days of it the administration kind of hinting at the fact that maybe they would shut down the border with Mexico.
Ann: Oh my god.
Aminatou: I'm like first of all we're the ones bringing coronavirus to Mexico so they should shut down the border with us.
Ann: Right.
Aminatou: I hope to be on the Mexican side of the border when it shuts down because that is the correct side of the border.
Ann: Goddess willing.
Aminatou: Yeah, no, it is woo child the ghetto on this side of the border. Let me tell you about it, it's not great.t But you do that and again sorry to harp on Italy but watching all of our fashion friends come back from Fashion Week in Milan they're not the ones getting handed thermometers or being like "Hmm, maybe you should self-quarantine" or whatever because first-world country talking to another first-world country and the way we just perpetrate a lot of this gross idea that there are people who make us sick, but people who are white or people who are rich are somehow exempt from this has been really nuts.
I'm not saying that I take any comfort in this but it has been really interesting finding out that coronavirus is in fact present at conservative conferences and having Republicans self-quarantining. That's like a YA that I would absolutely watch. I was like oh, there's a virus among us but it's only taking elected officials. I would watch that.
(10:10)
Ann: [Laughs] Oh my god, right, just spreading across fascistic regimes around the globe.
Aminatou: Yeah, fascists that shake hands, they're all going to go. This is not great. But one thing I have to say in the interest of also being self-critical is that I think I have been really confronted with how in this moment ageism is also working, you know? Because obviously older people are at risk and I have found myself being very much like okay, the CDC is not telling older people to stay home and they should. I believe as of this morning it's like a guidance that is there.
Ann: Right, but for a long time it was not. Yeah.
Aminatou: Yeah, for a long time it wasn't. But at the same time I am really confronted with my own like oh, who do I believe is fragile and who do I believe cannot make decisions for themselves right? And then when I look at the slate of who all is running for president and Donald Trump is the youngest person on that list that's a different conversation but I really wanted to address it here because I have found myself also just being very like ugh, older people are at risk so we should be quarantining them more. Then look at all these old people trying to be in charge of us and blah, blah, blah.
And some of those fears are valid because some of the older people that are trying to rule over us are definitely not all there together in the head. That's a conversation for a different podcast. But I think at the same time as you're confronted with, you know, all the isms in your life I think that ageism is something I was personally not prepared to be dealing with in my own thinking. And it's been interesting. It's interesting and it's hard and you're like okay, great, every . . . it's stretching and it's challenging all of us to live in the time of coronavirus.
(11:55)
Ann: It's interesting that you say that about being a little self-critical or introspective about your reaction. I think I also have had moments where my gut reaction because I see all these negatives associated with the fears that are emerging, my gut reaction is to kind of be like oh, it's actually not that big of a deal because I am not personally at risk right? Almost as a corrective to what I see as the rush out and hoard Purel mentality. And in fact it's like no, no, this is what herd immunity is about. This is like living in community means I actually do need to be very concerned with this even though I'm not personally at risk. And I think that my response personally has been to kind of be like not a big deal to me, and in fact I think that is an equally dangerous idea in the sense of just because I am not someone who has suppressed or compromised immunity, I am not in that kind of elderly risk zone, I'm correct to not be hoarding medical supplies that doctors need but on the other hand it's like no I actually should be taking this just as seriously as if I were a person who was immune suppressed. So anyway I think that I've kind of recognized this almost like too far of an overcorrection in myself.
Aminatou: Well, you know, as your immunosuppressed friend thank you.
Ann: Don't I know it.
Aminatou: Because yeah, it's been really interesting for me. I am very aware that my immune system, it's not lit.
Ann: Not 100 emoji. [Laughs]
Aminatou: I am definitely not 100 emoji. In fact I am concerned emojis. And I have to be honest, Ann, it's been really, really, really hard to hear from generally healthy people in my life how blasé they are about a lot of things. And I'm not upset because oh, you don't care about me. Whatever. I will be fine. I'm upset because I'm so reminded of just human selfishness, you know?
(13:50)
Everything that we know about this virus now, like whether you think you're in the percentage that's going to be fine or not, all of these things apply to other kinds of illnesses. So even if you're someone who's healthy you can be a carrier for other people, you know? It's not just about you. It's about the people in your community. The only thing that's keeping me Zen right now is rereading that Eula Bliss On Immunity book.
Ann: Oh my god, I had made a note to talk about this. I'm obsessed with this book.
Aminatou: Which everyone who has said something stupid to me in my life has received that book this week. If you're listening, yes, I sent you the book because you said something really dumb so let's all read it and hold hands, or something that was insensitive. But the reason that I love that book so much is because it really roots compassion and empathy and wanting other humans besides yourself to thrive as the root cause for why you should take immunity and herd immunity specifically very seriously. And also you know how I feel, I'm like read a fucking book.
Ann: Ugh.
Aminatou: If you don't feel prepared to talk about vaccination in your life don't worry. Just read a book. But it's been really challenging for me to just have people who are healthy, like watching them panic. And I was like no, not only should you not be panicking just for yourself you should be really aware that you can make people sick and you are hoarding resources in a way that doesn't work. I think too it's also made me think a lot about how unless I tell someone that my immune system is not 100 emoji I think that a lot of people don't realize that.
Ann: Right. You present as a gorgeous, healthy, thriving young woman frankly.
Aminatou: Thank you. Thank you Ann. And that's also hard because I think people should not have to tell you every single part of their medical report for you to take them seriously. In fact it irks me when someone's like "Oh, I'll take it more seriously because I know you." I'm like no, you should be taking public health seriously as a matter of public health and as a matter of citizenship. It's a point of concern that you take it seriously because you know people.
(15:50)
I'm not sharing any of this to be like oh, feel sorry for me. I think that it is just prompting a kind of response from me too about who are the people in my community that I'm ignoring? And so many of these conversations when we have them really uncritically end up being very ableist. How are we participating in this really kind of gross understanding of the world and who are we putting at risk and whose feelings are we hurting?
So coronavirus is spreading but also I am just as concerned at how dumb everyone is being, like dumb and insensitive. I was like you don't need a virus for that. That stuff, it's just ambient in the air. And another thing that is spreading that has also been hard for me is the panic text that you get from people or the whatever. There really has to be a way that we can talk to each other without stoking just fears.
Ann: Could you explain a panic text you've received? Because I have been on the receiving end of some of these and I would like to talk about if we're talking about the same thing.
Aminatou: Yeah, so there are two different kinds of texts that I receive and I'll talk about the bad ones first because there are also very helpful ones which I like.
Ann: [Laughs] Like the bad texts.
Aminatou: The bad texts. But there's the kind of like no context, only sending news links about everywhere that it's bad.
Ann: Oh god.
Aminatou: You know, the oh my god, there's one case in Australia. A doctor just died. Just sending links and never just thinking. And maybe I am just an overly cautious person. I think that worry is something that spreads really easily and I'm like you shouldn't worry people unless you have to worry them and a lot of times a lot of us do not understand that the way we talk about things deeply affects other people.
Ann: Even if you are not someone writing headlines at a news organization.
Aminatou: Even if you're not someone writing headlines. But I think that there is just a way that people say share news or share how they are worried or "Here's what I'm stocking my bunker with" in an uncritical way. I'm like this is just as bad as everything else that we're going through because there is no context. And I think that if you're reading the news very intently about coronavirus a thing that the medical community has actually been really good at doing is saying both we're going to keep you as prepared as we can keep you and also an honest we don't quite know but here is what we know.
(18:10)
And I think that that line, it's obviously really tough to walk but I wish that all of us would also try to walk that line because the truth is it's not like all these doctors have a cure and they're hiding it from you, it's they truly don't know and it makes their jobs harder when everyone is freaking out. And then there is also the kind of -- the other conversation that is really parallel to this which is everyone is freaking out about coronavirus but also no one wants to change their behavior. It's like maybe we should all, you know, gatherings of 20 people or more? Not great.
Ann: I'm like how you're like ban large gatherings.
Aminatou: Well I'm not saying ban large gatherings.
Ann: I thought you meant forever and ever. [Laughs]
Aminatou: Not forever, but in this moment. And this is also guidance from doctors. They're saying like hey, large gatherings? Not great. Maybe travel less if it's not essential. And in America at least everyone wants to freak out but also everyone wants to be exceptional. I'm like if you're really freaked out then maybe you should be restricting your own movements.
So it's been interesting to . . . you know, China obviously has communism so they can shut down the whole country which as a political science nerd I both love and hate it. I'm like communism is bad but wow, look at the machine at work.
Ann: The political science papers that will be written about this moment.
Aminatou: But also on one hand I'm like China kind of did us a big favor by shutting down, and I don't like to give any credit to communism because we understand things. And even in Italy the way the quarantine is working, not great. But I have a really hard time seeing any kind of quarantine in America because it's such an individualistic place. It's like quarantine is for other people. Like yes they would love it if we shut down all of Oakland because a ship docked there but also everyone in New York is like no, not me. Staying home is for other people. I get to live my life and I get to travel and I get to do all these things. It's really frustrating. It's just frustrating to see all these things pile on top of each other when we could actually be doing things that are helpful.
(20:15)
Ann: Yeah. And I think that there is -- this definitely goes back to I mean critical media study is one of our favorite topics. I think the text messages that we receive really do reflect the ways that this is talked about in the sense of on one end things are horrible, hoard resources. And on the other end no big deal, you're not at risk right? Those being kind of two poles and neither of those things really being 100 percent true you know? [Laughs] So maybe we can take a little break and then have a conversation about how we want this to be discussed or if we were the dictators what we would want people to be doing.
Aminatou: Wow, if you were a Chinese dictator how would you shut down your kingdom?
Ann: Well first of all I would be a like German-Irish-American Midwest dictator. [Laughter]
Aminatou: Queen of Iowa. Queen of Iowa.
Ann: Well, you know, yes. How I would rule my hypothetical kingdom which is a question I like to ask myself frequently, like if I was the dictator what would I do? Yeah, we can talk about that in a minute.
[Ads]
(23:15)
Ann: So when I think about how I wish we were all talking about coronavirus I think about this article that Allssa Walker wrote for Curbed recently which we can link to in the show notes and the headline is Preparing My Home For Coronavirus Doesn't Mean Shutting Myself In, It Means Reaching Out. And it's basically about how it is both true that coronavirus is going to affect certain populations more than others, certain people are more at risk, and also that, you know, buying a bulk box of masks is not going to save you. And one of the great things about this article is that she gives some examples of other widespread public health issues, most of them related to a natural disaster, and who survived and why.
I'm just going to read this little section which is about a heat wave in Chicago which killed a lot of people, most of them elderly, and she writes this: "While it would seem that most heat-related deaths would be related to having income and infrastructure, having access to well-insulated homes with working air conditioning for example, it was discovered that social structures were just as important when determining who survived. People who lived alone or didn't have contact with people who lived nearby were more likely to die. Older women, even ones who were considered more physically vulnerable, ended up surviving at higher rates because of the nature of their relationships with each other. Older men who did not have the same types of social connections died at twice the rate of older women." And the takeaway here is it's a moment to take stock of who's in your community and how you're connected. It's not a moment to figure out how to go deeper into your solo bunker.
Aminatou: Right. And it's interesting because before the ad we talked about the panic text messages. I wanted to talk about the good messages I'm receiving.
Ann: Yes!
Aminatou: The pals who are starting group chats with neighbors.
Ann: Yes.
Aminatou: Or saying like "You live close to me and here's what we're trying to do." Friends who are really checking on your travel schedule and kind of maintaining a hey, just want to know where you're at and how are we socially mapping out what we're doing together? The text messages that are people that are making lists of all the extra items that they have onhand. One pal sent a text that I loved. She was like "Here's all the shopping I did for big things and I have extras of XYZ. Nobody needs to buy anymore. Please stop buying and pick up." And I thought that was so helpful and also asked us to organize and see if se had elderly people or sick people in our building and knock on doors and ask if they had a plan. I thought that was super helpful.
(26:00)
Another friend sent out a map of local businesses we should be supporting because she was like oh, all of these places have been hit extra hard by xenophobia of coronavirus and if you're going to eat out or you're going to do things we should consider doing things. Or all of the small local businesses also that are affected by everything from the stock market losing its mind to the fact that people are going out less and I thought that was great.
And, you know, I think also just a reminder that you can organize outside your immediate group. For me at least that's been so helpful to quell the panic and the worry. I was like okay, great, there are actual things I can do. I can be useful for someone else and we can have a phone tree that works for all of us so we're not all freaking out at the same time.
Ann: Right. And I think the bottom line of all of this is just decenter yourself a little bit, particularly if you're not an at-risk population. And I think back to Eula Bliss's On Immunity book which she makes this point that vaccines are really one of the only cases in modern public life where people are asked to put themselves at a slightly higher risk in order to preserve the greater health and good for their community. And for most people that risk is quite low and the payoffs are really, really high.
I actually think that this herd immunity idea is exactly what Allssa is writing about in this article, is exactly what the friends who are texting you about sharing resources are talking about, and it also makes me feel so much better right? There's something about this like look, you know what's hard for me? Not touching my face. Truly impossible.
Aminatou: Who knew we were touching our faces so much?
(27:45)
Ann: All I do is grope and stroke my own face. I rub my eyes. I've got my fingers in my mouth. I am disgusting.
Aminatou: I didn't know that about myself. You know those stats like the average human touches their face 80 times a minute or whatever and you're like who is doing that? I am doing that. I now know this. I say it as I scratch . . .
Ann: Your eyebrow.
Aminatou: My eyebrow. [Laughter] Every time we talk about our faces I have to touch it.
Ann: Yeah, I even feel like even the number -- I was texting a friend about this the other day -- even the number of emoji where the emoji have little hands that are touching their faces, I'm like so many. This is very ingrained. Anyway, so that is what's hard for me actually at the end of the day. Like what isn't hard is getting a flu shot. What isn't hard is communicating with my neighbors about the things in my house. What isn't hard is making an extra casserole or lasagna and putting it in my freezer. That was one of the great tips in Allssa's article. It's like you know what? You're never going to be sad about having a bonus meal in your freezer. There's a way to prepare that is not bulk buying raw ingredients at Costco. You can kind of have a few things in your freezer that you have made ahead of time then if you don't end up needing you can share them. We all have people in our lives who get sick or have a new baby in their lives or you know what I mean? Could use an extra casserole. This is like preparing that . . .
Aminatou: Queen of casseroles. [Laughs]
Ann: Queen of casseroles. Listen, no one is sad when I bring a casserole to their house okay? That attitude as well I like because it is sort of good for the worst of times but bonus for the best of times.
Aminatou: I mean, you know, stay ready so you don't have to get ready.
Ann: Listen.
Aminatou: It's also just a reality I think of our -- of this moment and probably of our generation that we're living with disaster. This is not new. Sometimes there's earthquakes. Sometimes it's a new-style flu that is going to take everyone out. I am trying to think more about how to be a resilient person long-term than dipping in and out of how am I prepared, you know? Because the climate's a disaster. We have a lot to say about people who are survivalists and have the world is ending kind of mentality but I do think that one thing I take away from people who think that all the time is they're building a kind of long-term resiliency plan which is if I can't count on services to be open and I can't count on the world to go 100 percent my way -- I'm not saying I'm a survivalist, like would never survive survivalist camp -- but I think there are definitely things to think about that they are doing right. And I think that not thinking it's going to be rosy all the time is something we should all know because, you know, this time it's coronavirus but you're definitely going to need that stash of three months of food or whatever at your house for some other kind of disaster.
(30:40)
Ann: Right. And people do not survive disaster in isolation. They just don't. Even when quarantine is part of the response to disaster as with coronavirus people are not getting by solo ever. That's why I read that heat wave example because that is a disaster that was not a nationwide panic, was not a kind of slow-moving thing that people could prepare for, and the lesson is still the same that community will in fact save you and see you through.
I also feel good about the reminder of I definitely have a community of people I really care about and I'm close to in my neighborhood but I need to do better on my specific block or I need to do better in a few systemic ways that I think are also not how do I do better when the inevitable earthquake hits Los Angeles as it will but also like how do we want to just be humans in the world, you know? [Laughs] How do we want to live knowing the community that we've chosen around us? I don't know. There's something about it that feels to me directly antithetical to the kind of fear and like undercurrents of all the bad stuff that we were talking about at the beginning of the episode.
Aminatou: Whew.
(31:50)
Ann: Okay, so we have just a couple minutes left and I feel compelled to ask you what items are your non-essential for life quarantine survival must-haves.
Aminatou: Oh my toner. 100 percent. That's coming in the bunker with me. It's shelf-stable.
Ann: So when you're like live streaming from quarantine your skin looks amazing?
Aminatou: Welcome to my channel. [Laughter]
Ann: Welcome to my bunker.
Aminatou: That'll be me just doing skincare in the bunker for sure. A friend was telling me that in her bunker supplies are 100 percent -- she has mostly Oreos in there. She was definitely going to deal with all of that.
Ann: Those survive forever.
Aminatou: They do survive forever. I remember when I lived in San Francisco I definitely had Oreos in the earthquake kit then I hit the earthquake kit supplies. That was my rock bottom of living in the Bay Area. [Laughter]
Ann: Did you have a fancy -- did someone give you a fancy earthquake like preppy . . .
Aminatou: Oh no one gave it to me. I gave myself an incredibly fancy, yeah, I'm like I'm going down but couture, you know?
Ann: Put it on a t-shirt for you.
Aminatou: Also I can't believe I said couture like an American. That was sick.
Ann: Croissant.
Aminatou: Definitely my coronavirus supply kit also comes from a very nicely-designed place. I definitely put the toner in there because that's important. Also maybe some Haribo, you know what I'm saying? Because we're going down but we are also human so let's do this. What's your non-essential frivolous thing?
Ann: This sounds essential but I swear it's not: my contact solution. [Laughter]
Aminatou: Ann you're going to need it! That little case.
Ann: My Clear Care? Listen.
Aminatou: I'm worried about you in a disaster.
Ann: Oh are you kidding? I am extremely nearsighted and clumsy. My glasses are so thick that they hurt my face if I wear them for full days. That's why I really thought a about this and my Clear Care which takes the protein off my contact lenses, I actually feel like that would be an important stockpile. And there's also things I feel like are not discussed as part of a quarantine stockpile like the tampons I like. The household products that are not food or germ-killing but you actually would really need if you were shut into your home for the long term. I guess I'm thinking about all of the redundancies in my bathroom. That's where I immediately go, to the things that are not essential.
(34:28)
I also have to say that I come from people who my mom always had one to three backups of all the daily use products in our home in the pantry. That is an approach to stocking my home that I just seamlessly took on. I don't feel good if I don't have redundancies of my shampoo, my toilet paper, my contact stuff. I feel like that's where my heart and mind immediately goes is like okay, those are the redundancies I need, not so much the hand sanitizer.
Aminatou: This is not a frivolous thing at all because I had to do this recently. I also think it's really important if you take a medicine regularly.
Ann: Oh yeah.
Aminatou: Right now a thing that you can do for yourself is talk to your doctor about giving you two extra months supply at least. It's very hard if you take things for your broken neurotransmitters and I recently had to fight with my insurance about this but I was able to do it. So I think that in a moment if you want to challenge your rage into doing something constructive get extra months supplies of your meds and just stock them at your house because you never know. And also it's been really useful. I've lost my SSRI before and it's not a walk in the park.
Ann: Not a good scene.
Aminatou: It's not a good scene. So, you know, that stuff's coming in the bunker with me. Zoloft for life in the bunker.
Ann: I love it.
(35:50)
Aminatou: So I am obviously not excited about quarantine in general but I am very excited at a kind of self-quarantining myself, a.k.a. . . .
Ann: The introvert's dream? Quarantine: The Introvert's Dream. [Laughs]
Aminatou: The joy of missing out, JOMO. We are . . .
Ann: Oh my god, it's a big JOMO moment isn't it?
Aminatou: It's a big JOMO moment. It's also like a big moment for those of us who whenever you're supposed to leave your house you count down the moment until the other person will cancel with you. It's like that's a big New York City mood. You're like hmm, this person's about to cancel this hang. And now I'm like I'm not leaving the house because of coronavirus time so it feels good for me. It's a moment for us, the introverted germophobes. We have been living for this.
Ann: I love it. I was talking to a friend at the beginning of the year and I was like I think 2020 needs to be my year of really prioritizing my number ones. You know, the kind of coffee with the acquaintance, I think I really am going to let that go this year. And I've been horrible about sticking to it because the truth is I'm like yeah, I do want to see that person. Sure. [Laughter] And I actually feel like this moment is a good excuse for me to recommit to my number ones who I'm like we're already close enough that we're at risk of coughing on each other frequently so let's just lean into the tightest inner circle.
Aminatou: I know. I have to say also that all of my very serious germaphobia goes out of the way for loved ones. I'm not shaking hands anymore but I also don't like shaking hands in general and also most of the people who want to shake my hands are men in business meetings.
Ann: No. They do not wash their hands.
Aminatou: I'm like you haven't been washing your hands since the beginning of time. I don't need coronavirus to tell me that.
Ann: Decades of germs under those fingernails.
Aminatou: So I do not shake hands and this week it's been very interesting because I watch people still try to shake hands. I grew up Muslim so people not shaking hands, it's just triggered me to this place where back when baby Amina started going to Quran school she did not understand that whenever she stuck her hand out to the other boys or the male teachers at Quran school no one would shake my hands. And my parents were so mortified about it because we would have Quran teachers come to our home or just older Muslim men and every time I would do the like "Hello, it's nice to meet you."
Ann: Hello, it's me, a diplomat's daughter. [Laughter]
Aminatou: I'm like stick your hand out. My dad was always like what a fucking idiot. But they would never shake my hand. And I remember that shame I would feel because it always took me 15 seconds to be like oh, yeah, these men aren't doing that. And they would always instead just do this weird half-hearted bow and put their hand on their heart.
Ann: Oh weird.
(38:30)
Aminatou: And I've been doing that all week where I just put my hand on my heart and it both makes me feel nine and ashamed but also like why do we shake people's hands? This is disgusting. I know why you do it. You wanted to know the other person didn't have a sword in their hand. But it's 2020, I don't need to be doing that. So when coronavirus is over I hope to eradicate handshakes for the rest of our generation. I don't need this.
Ann: Meaningful nods only.
Aminatou: Meaningful nods only. But I'm hugging my nearest and dearest, sharing cups of water with them. I'm like I don't care. If I get coronavirus from someone who loves me I feel great about that.
Ann: Well because you're in community with them and they're going to actually bring you supplies when you're stuck in your home.
Aminatou: I want it from a friend, not a foe. [Laughs] So those are my feelings.
Ann: And also people who truly love you have all had flu shots and are thinking about this stuff.
Aminatou: True. True, true, true. I'm only trying to cuddle with the friends right now so it's perfect. [Laughter]
Ann: On that note cuddle your number ones.
Aminatou: That's right. Take your friends on dates. Cuddle your number ones and check in on them in a not-panicky way.
Ann: Oh my god, and also I feel like the sign-off of this show has never been more poignant. See you on the Internet. [Laughs]
Aminatou: Oh definitely see you on the Internet. FaceTime for everyone. You can find us many places on the Internet: callyourgirlfriend.com, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, we're on all your favorite platforms. Subscribe, rate, review, you know the drill. You can call us back. You can leave a voicemail at 714-681-2943. That's 714-681-CYGF. You can email us at callyrgf@gmail.com. Our theme song is by Robyn, original music composed by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. Our logos are by Kenesha Sneed. We're on Instagram and Twitter at @callyrgf. Our associate producer is Jordan Baley and this podcast is produced by Gina Delvac.