Our Top Female Blowhard

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1/8/16 - We discuss Amina’s contempt for New Year’s resolutions, winter sports, Oregon’s snack-happy militia, a black woman’s hilarious trolling of her rude white coworker, and Fox News’ Megyn Kelly. Plus, CYG listeners raised $30k for ZanaAfrica and philanthropist Ruth Ann Harnisch shares small and sustainable ways to effect big change. 

Transcript below.

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CREDITS

Producer: Gina Delvac

Hosts: Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman

Theme song: Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn



TRANSCRIPT: OUR TOP FEMALE BLOWHARD

Aminatou: When CYG's making money and we all live on the same compound, the house that CYG bought so we can do these . . .

Ann: Slash we just gift each other insane Oprah-level things all the time.

Aminatou: In a timely manner.

Ann: You just come home to a new cashmere throw.

Aminatou: Oh my god, this is so good. Okay.

Ann: All right, all right. Welcome to Call Your Girlfriend.

Aminatou: A podcast for long-distance besties everywhere.

Ann: I'm Ann Friedman.

Aminatou: And I'm Aminatou Sow and for some reason I have the giggles. This is bad.

Ann: I mean I thought you were not drinking wine right now.

Aminatou: I'm not. I went to get a glass of wine and instead I got distracted by this . . . somebody left this in my freezer, this Haagen Dazs zesty lemon sorbet. Whoever you are that left this in my house, god bless you. It is hitting all the spots.

Ann: Oh man, I am definitely not having a dry/sober/detox January. I feel like I did not tox enough in December. I'm like I'm still toxing.

Aminatou: No shade, but I've been on a very healthy kit recently so I don't feel the need to detox or Drynuary or any of that stuff because my body is a temple right now.

Ann: I mean, preach. Zesty lemon.

Aminatou: Zesty lemon.

[Theme Song]

Ann: I know what we should talk about. It's a new year.

Aminatou: Yeah, happy new year!

Ann: Happy 2K16.

Aminatou: Yeah, I'm like I'm still writing 2012 on my checks so as far as I'm concerned the years have been slow to transition.

Ann: Oh man, did you make a resolution?

Aminatou: You know, so . . . hmm, I feel like I'm about to go on a classic Amina rant. Here's my feeling about resolutions.

Ann: I mean I was baiting you, I confess. [Laughs]

Aminatou: Here's my feeling about resolutions. I think that people who announce to everybody how they're trying to be a better person are just basically dooming themselves to fail. I think that you should keep your resolutions private to yourself and you should work hard on them and once you have milestones you can share.

Ann: You're like do or do not, there is no resolution.

Aminatou: Yes, I'm like just do or do not. Also people are always the same, like "I will go to the gym more." I'm like then shut the fuck up and go to the gym. Or I think that if you want to do something that you've genuinely never done before like oh, I want to learn piano or I want to learn how to snowboard or whatever, that's really cool. Come back to us when you know how to do those things. I'm more excited . . .

Ann: Or when you're a few weeks deep in lessons or something.

(2:40)

Aminatou: Yes. I'm way more excited about "Here's what I have learned" than "I am going to do a thing."

Ann: I also think that there are some people who need external accountability and I don't hate on them asking for it. Just saying.

Aminatou: Yeah, but they're not really asking for accountability.

Ann: Sometimes they are. Sometimes they are.

Aminatou: They're just wasting our time. I don't know. I feel like then you should get a personal board of directors who can help you with that stuff.

Ann: I mean, truth. Okay, so tweeting your resolution or whatever, who cares? But telling someone who is your roommate "Hey, will you remind me/do you want to be my buddy to learn a thing . . ."

Aminatou: Ann, that is so thoughtful, and great. Of course you're not going to fail if that's what you're doing.

Ann: Stop. [Laughs]

Aminatou: Yes, of course. That's the way to go. I will tell you though I did one thing for the first time in 2015 that I've never done before, and oh my god. So I took snowboarding lessons.

Ann: Are you bruised everywhere?

Aminatou: I have never fallen and cried so much in my life.

Ann: Is that what the 2012 hit Booty Down is about?

Aminatou: Oh my -- 100%. Also the best thing is when I booked this lesson on the phone I thought the stoner kid on the other side was trying to up-sell me. He was like "You probably want a private lesson," because I was already asking too many questions, you know?

Ann: He was trying to save your ego.

Aminatou: Yeah, I'm like am I going to fall? I was like . . . and then he was like "Do you ski or not?" And I was like "Well, I ski." And he's like "Well, those habits are going to be harder to unlearn." So a private lesson . . . the private lesson was so clutch because it was just me and this stoner snowboard instructor who we are buddies now. There's also something about just being older and not being a good risk-taker. It's like every time you fall you just see your whole life flash in front of you.

(4:20)

Ann: Oh man, Shonda Rhimes wrote a whole book about this.

Aminatou: Oh my god, it's so serious. There's nothing funnier honestly to me than trying to get off the ski lift on snowboards. Like it's . . .

Ann: Do you just hurl your body in an L-shape off of it? That's what I imagine.

Aminatou: All you have to do is pray.

Ann: [Laughs] You know I don't engage in any sports that involve me moving at high speeds like only controlled by my own body, so I don't ski or snowboard. [Laughs] 

Aminatou: What did you tell me one time about bicycling? You were like "You know I'm not interested in personal transportation." [Laughs]

Ann: It's so true, I'm not. The only personal transportation I am into is walking or jogging maybe occasionally. Unicycle, bicycle, skateboard, hover . . . okay, I would try a hover board if the situation presented itself.

Aminatou: Yeah, we need somebody who works at a hover board company to holler at us.

Ann: And then we need fire-retardant suits.

Aminatou: Exactly. Okay, but here's my last thing I'm going to say about winter sports. I don't say it to be a proud person. It's just I went to private school so this is the weird shit that's in your life.

Ann: Skiing?

Aminatou: Yes, like weirdo like badminton and skiing and sailing. My parents gave me white boojie sports. Thank you for the gift of education.

Ann: Do you also know how to sail?

Aminatou: Yeah, obvi.

Ann: See, this is the thing, no Midwest skills are relevant among rich people. My cheese ball making skills, my . . .

Aminatou: [Laughs]

Ann: I don't know, my ability to survive high humidity.

(5:54)

Aminatou: Yeah, that's amazing. But you know the best thing about all of the stuff though when you're a black person is that white people always give you the "What are you doing here?" look.

Ann: Oh my god.

Aminatou: And it makes me so happy. It makes me beyond happy every single time where I'm just like . . .

Ann: Right, you're like I'm here owning your slope.

Aminatou: Yeah, I'm like I'm about to ski circles around this bitch.

[Music]

Ann: Oh my god, let's talk about militias.

Aminatou: Ann, I am so excited about these fucking militias in Oregon because the Internet is my favorite place. What are they calling them on Twitter? Y'all Qaeda?

Ann: Y'all Qaeda, Vanilla ISIS.

Aminatou: Oh, man, they just want to live under Shania Law. I'm like this is amazing.

Ann: I know. Also very relevant to our interests, their call for snacks backup. They put out a Facebook message that's like "Hey, if you have supplies or snacks or anything that might be useful to this stand then please send them to the address above."

Aminatou: [Laughs] I know!

Ann: And I was like the revolution must be well-fed. Take care of yourself.

Aminatou: Yeah, and then somebody on the Internet put up a picture of you know the Don't Thread on Me snake? That said like "Please send snacks." [Laughs] And I lost my shit, like 100%. First of all you would not catch me dead at a militia event without one week worth of snacks. Who are these people?

Ann: You don't catch me anywhere without one week of snacks. It's like I go to the grocery store and have snacks on my person when I'm going to buy snacks.

Aminatou: I know! I fly with bomb sandwiches I made at home.

Ann: I'm hypoglycemic. We don't fuck around.

Aminatou: I'm emotionally hypoglycemic. [Laughs] Who died and made you a well-regulated militia, you know? It's always like one guy with a gun and he thinks he knows what's up.

Ann: Yeah. I mean I think that this particular guy with a gun thinks that he has a family legacy to protect/permission to act like a total fucking fool with his ammunition.

(7:55)

Aminatou: Yeah. You know the other thing that's always so funny to me about all these people is they wail against the government but all they're doing is fucking taking advantage of the government all of the time.

Ann: Total resources suck, yeah.

Aminatou: Yeah. I'm like you know who's not fucking grazing their cows on federal land for free? Me. I pay my taxes. I don't have time for this shit.

Ann: I know, it's true. It's true.

Aminatou: Ugh. Way to impulse organize. Bring snacks next time, guys.

Ann: Also the fact -- okay, I feel this has been less-mocked on the Internet but their website is www.rogueinfidel.com. 

Aminatou: [Laughs] 

Ann: At least tell us what you're about. That's just like . . .

Aminatou: Ann, they're about a strict interpretation of Shania Law. We are . . .

Ann: Damn, I feel like a woman, right? 

Aminatou: Oh my god.

Ann: I mean let me tell you if this was an all-lady militia there would be snacks. There would be organization. Shit would be provided for. I guess that's why . . . like you would never have a lady militia like this because there's not that level of entitlement.

Aminatou: Yeah, you also wouldn't have a lady militia like this because we are already inside the government doing the best work we can be doing. [Laughs] You know the thing about it actually that I kind of love about this though is I know that you, like me, have read Under the Banner of Heaven.

Ann: Mm-hmm.

Aminatou: It's that there's a strong Mormon thread, right, among the Oregon standoff. Early Mormon history is just one conflict after another with the government every single time. All these homies are Mormons again.

Ann: Ugh, yeah, Under the Banner of Heaven is 100% worth a read for anyone who cares about former cults that are sort of becoming, due to size and acceptance, mainstream religions.

Aminatou: Like mainstream religions.

Ann: Right, like that transition is so interesting. Then you have people like the folks at rogueinfidel.com that remind us that there is still this culty outlaw, I don't even know what to call it . . .

Aminatou: Like western land use issues.

Ann: Yeah, for sure.

(9:50)

Aminatou: Yeah, it's like the minute somebody starts talking to me about land use I'm like are you a Mormon? Is your name Captain Moroni? What's going on here? What's the angel called, Moroni or Moro-nai?

Ann: You know, I actually am not 100% sure how to pronounce it. In a true, nerdy kid move I think I've only read it and never heard it said.

Aminatou: I know. I want to say that in documentaries I've heard it pronounced Moro-nai but I refuse to believe that's what it is.

Ann: Right.

Aminatou: Besides Under the Banner of Heaven I'm very ignorant about Mormon things.

Ann: Yeah, I mean, well, I have -- my grandmother is from a small town in Iowa that is across the river from a town called Nauvoo, Illinois which is where Joseph Smith was killed and so it's become . . .

Aminatou: Girl, I read the book. I know where Nauvoo is.

Ann: I mean just explaining for the listeners at home who might not know the Midwest geography.

Aminatou: True, true. Listen, I'm just acting out because I miss you. Tell me.

Ann: [Laughs] Anyway, so they sort of in the past 15 years have resettled it as a Mormon landmark and vacation town and every summer they do a play about the life of Joseph Smith. And my grandmother who is into the theatre but short on options in rural Iowa goes every year and is like "It's a good play."

Ann: [Laughs] So I don't know. I haven't been back in a really long time but I feel like that's my local interaction.

Aminatou: I'm putting this on the Call Your Girlfriend bucket list.

Ann: Oh my god, road trip.

Aminatou: We are going to this play.

Ann: Oh my god, Grandma Jules would totally shuttle us there. She probably has tickets already for the summer 2016 one.

Aminatou: Okay, talk to Grandma Jules. I want to talk to her about that and then maybe she'll have something to say about militia members taking over federal government buildings.

Ann: She would say "Oh, god." That's what she would say, in that exact tone.

Aminatou: [Laughs]

Ann: And then also, you know, that is a woman who always has a freezer full of snacks. Like there is no excuse.

[Music]

Aminatou: What else is going on?

(11:50)

Ann: Okay, so one of the militia ringleader bros was on Megyn Kelly's show which is not all that notable. She was okay. She was reading a pretty good turtleneck.

Aminatou: I think you mean The Kelly File? Yes.

Ann: I mean, I don't know, do we have to use the proper . . . sure, The Kelly File.

Aminatou: I'm just saying that sometimes I watch it.

Ann: Listen, okay, so Megyn Kelly did an interview where she was sort of humiliating these dudes because they did not want to talk about what they actually stand for on television. And this plus the Vanity Fair profile just brings up for me how conflicted I am of kind of wanting to like her but also completely hating her. But anyway, you know, Megyn with a Y problems.

Aminatou: I do not feel conflicted about Megyn Kelly.

Ann: You just have a dislike?

Aminatou: I have a dislike. Well, you know what, I'm going to let you explain the article but I'll tell you that my dislike of Megyn Kelly -- Megyn with a Y -- is she's just an opportunistic person, you know?

Ann: For sure.

Aminatou: Whenever I see people do cool feminist things or whatever, but when I'm reminded that they're really only doing them for themselves, I'm not impressed by them.

Ann: Well I don't think she's doing cool feminist things in a sense of she's an activist person who's good for women. I don't know. I guess I like seeing women ask hard questions and defend themselves, which is not to say that her questions are particularly, you know . . .

Aminatou: I know, but that's what women on the right who think women on the left are bots a lot of times do so that's why it's not surprising to me.

Ann: Oh sure, sure, sure.

Aminatou: You know what I mean?

Ann: Yeah, oh yeah. She's completely cut from a mold of "I'm not a feminist. I'm just an independent woman who is a Republican, blah, blah, blah, blah." But there is this amazing tidbit in that profile in which Ivanka's dad who we have discussed at length on this podcast . . .

Aminatou: [Laughs] Voldemort.

Ann: Apparently he would regularly call to give her compliments and would "send me press clippings about her," about Megyn Kelly, and he would just sign them "Donald Trump." Is that not the fucking weirdest thing? Like he would cut out articles about her and send them to her signed "Donald Trump."

Aminatou: That's so funny. So you know he does that to a lot of reporters, right? But I find that it's a little creepy that he does it to her specifically.

(13:55)

Ann: I did not know that he did that to a lot of reporters.

Aminatou: Yeah, no, this is like kind of his MO. I'm keeping an eye out on all of you people like thing. And his handwriting is very nice. Whenever the reporters tweet it I always laugh so hard.

Ann: Oh my god.

Aminatou: Like this is so funny.

Ann: I mean, okay, so now I feel a little silly that I did not know that The Donald is always trying to woo.

Aminatou: Oh, you feel silly that you're not obsessed with The Donald like me in an unhealthy way? Please.

Ann: But can you imagine how creepy it would be to open a letter? Like you open an envelope -- just imagine her experience, or any reporter's experience -- and you pull out an article, just something you've written or a thing about you, and there's no other context except for Donald Trump signed at the bottom. It's like a weird not my grandmother who's wonderful but a weird grandmother keeping tabs.

Aminatou: I don't know how to tell you this, I'm going to start doing this about all your articles.

Ann: Oh my god. So creepy.

Aminatou: Yeah. But there's some stuff in the article that super rubbed me the wrong way, right? Like the way that she talks about some of the stuff that she's saying is too sophisticated for contemporary feminism or whatever.

Ann: Right, which is laughable.

Aminatou: Which is so laughable. I'm just so over all these idiot women who always talk about being kicked out of feminism. I'm like just show me your dismissal papers. Who kicked you out? Where was your membership card? There's always these crazy straw men. And then you just think about all these people who think feminism is a monolith, right? And they don't know the movement of feminism is literally made of cacophony and dissent and that's how . . .

Ann: Right, like a large percentage of feminists actively hate each other. [Laughs]

Aminatou: Yes, exactly. I'm just like oh, I'm sorry that you're a dummy and you didn't know this. Then they say these things to make themselves come across smart. That really always rubs me the wrong way.

Ann: I guess my whole thing about it is not that I see her as someone that I admire or as some kind of potential ally or any of that. I guess I'm just interested in women with power full stop, and that extends to women whose views I find reprehensible. I don't know. I guess I'm just interested in watching women maneuver, especially in a space like Fox News which is like what the fuck? I'm interested in how they do it, you know what I mean?

(16:05)

Aminatou: Yeah. My thing that always stands out to me about Megyn Kelly -- god, Megyn with a Y, it's so hard for me.

Ann: [Laughs]

Aminatou: She went on this three-month maternity leave a couple of years ago.

Ann: P.S., one of her kids is named Thatcher, as in what the hell? Anyway, go on.

Aminatou: I mean obviously. Obviously. But yeah, it's like she went on maternity leave and came back then some radio host called maternity leave a racket and Megyn Kelly went off on him.

Ann: Right, I remember that.

Aminatou: She just completely went off on him, right? And everybody was so excited. They were like "Megyn gets it and blah, blah, blah." And then you're just like no, actually, Megyn Kelly is a huge hypocrite. She only supports maternity leave for herself, not for everybody.

Ann: Right. And you'd best believe if she didn't have a uterus herself she would not give two fucks about -- yeah, exactly.

Aminatou: No. But at the same time, you know, it's just the kind of thing that makes you kind of interrogate what kind of woman does it take to do well at Fox news?

Ann: Oh, exactly. I know everyone says millennials are the snake people but real talk what are you doing, snake person? How are you getting in there? I don't know. I'm interested in all of that. And the profile has a little bit of that, essentially how do you rise to prominence while being in the tiniest not even offensive ways contrarian at a place like that?

Aminatou: Yeah.

Ann: Which like it or not is a powerful platform.

Aminatou: Yeah. You know, I think that for me to wrap this conversation together I'm fascinated by Megyn Kelly in the sense that I fucking love female blowhards, you know?

Ann: [Laughs] Yeah.

Aminatou: Because there are just not a lot of them. She's like our top lady blowhard and I love it when she just piles on people. Even though I don't agree with her politically on anything I appreciate that she gets to exist.

Ann: Oh my god, tangentially related to lady blowhard, so there is a profile of Leslie Jones in The New Yorker this week.

Aminatou: Oh, it's so good. Oh my god, it's so good.

(17:50)

Ann: But there's this part where she's at a comedy club with Larry Wilmore and Ann Coulter comes up to their table which is one of those things where I'm like oh my god, how did this even happen? And Larry Wilmore is kind of polite and whatever. And Leslie Jones just shuts it down and is like "What are you doing here?" Hang on, I'm going to find the exact . . . "So Leslie Jones leans across the table and stage whispers 'What the fuck is this frightening bitch doing here?'" 

Aminatou: [Laughs] Oh, I love black women so much.

Ann: I mean, yeah, this profile is so great and she is beyond wonderful. I just love that. It's like, you know, I certainly . . . in a similar situation I would totally Larry Wilmore and just kind of be like "Hi!" and then talk shit after she walked away.

Aminatou: Yeah, no, Leslie Jones suffers no fools. You know the interesting thing about that profile is it makes Lorne Michaels come off like so, so, so great. [Laughs]

Ann: Oh my god, I know, it's so weird. Chris Rock is like he's a visionary.

Aminatou: Well, so if you have noticed in The New Yorker that's where he plants all of his great talent stories. People at SNL do not give access for a tun of stuff but they always go to The New Yorker which is so funny to me. But so obviously this is part of his Lorne Michaels is good with women arc and I was like this is so fascinating. Just imagined if you hired . . . what hiring a talented black woman can do for your reputation, right? And then you let everybody know about it.

Ann: Yeah. I mean yeah, I'm like 1% happy/okay with Lorne Michaels and like 99% Leslie Jones forever and ever and ever.

Aminatou: Oh, I love Leslie Jones. Also I just love the tagline of the article. Doesn't it say something like "Funny forever and finally famous" or something like that? And I was like yes.

Ann: Yeah, it's "Always funny, finally famous."

Aminatou: Yes, she's just been around forever and she's so hilarious. I love her.

Ann: Yeah, so whatever, kind of tangential but that's exactly what it reminded me of. I'm just like would I have the guts to do that? And I'm not sure that I would.

(19:50)

Aminatou: Oh my god, I'm going to pray for you that you become more and more of the lady blowhard that . . .

Ann: Listen, in ten years I might be able to sort of tap some of the Leslie Jones straight blowhard.

Aminatou: Who do you think would like, in our current media climate, could be around you that you would say "What is this frightening bitch doing here?" [Laughs]

Ann: Oh, that's a good question.

Aminatou: I'm like who would I say that about someone? Because that is an amazing . . .

Ann: Who is someone -- who is a stranger who I've never met before but I think is full of shit? That's what you mean.

Aminatou: Yeah, that would just walk up to your table and you would just be like "Nuh-uh."

Ann: Hmm, I have to think about that.

Aminatou: I feel like it's Ann Coulter for sure.

Ann: I mean that's a good one, right? Like if you wouldn't say it about her, who would you say it about?

Aminatou: Yeah, I know, except I have a personal Ann Coulter story and she was very nice to me.

Ann: You Wilmored out on it. [Laughs]

Aminatou: No, I didn't Wilmore out on it. I told her she was a crazy person to her face.

Ann: What did she say?

Aminatou: I was in college and she came to speak and I was on the speaker committee or whatever that brought her. And she was so nice to me. Also her drink of choice was Vanilla Dr Pepper which is disgusting.

Ann: Oh my god. Oh my god, I'm going weak in the knees at this detail.

Aminatou: You're hearing it here on Call Your Girlfriend. And, you know, she's like nice. She's asking everybody what's up with them? Super friendly or whatever. Then this frightening bitch gets onstage and proceeds to offend everyone in the audience. [Laughs] And then comes out. And you know the thing that that taught me, honestly, everybody is a fucking performer.

Ann: Right.

Aminatou: She does not believe what she says but she gets paid a ton of money to have this disgusting persona and so she has to buy into it.

Ann: Wow, and we're full-circle back to Megyn Kelly.

Aminatou: I know, Megyn with a Y. Wishing you and Thatcher and the rest of the kids the best.

Ann: Yardley. One of them is named Yardley.

[Music and Ads]

(24:50)

Aminatou: Speaking of ridiculous names did you hear this story -- a black woman story about how she got revenge on her white coworker who refused to learn her name because, I quote, "All hood black girl names sound the same?"

Ann: Ugh.

Aminatou: This is so good I don't even want to quote it wrong. So this woman is like "Did I ever tell you the story of how I fucked with my white coworker out of spite?" and she's like "Let's go." So she basically gets a promotion and a new seat at work, she works at a really white company, but she sits next to the one black woman because she feels safe in this new area. But then it turns out the guy across from her is this white dude and she calls him the mayonnaise monster.

Ann: [Laughs]

Aminatou: Which kills me. She's like "He comes to his seat and introduces himself as Evan. He asks my name," and she's like mind you my new desk has my name on it. "He looks at my name and goes what the F does this say?" She's like "He fakes confusion then says Laquisha?" which is so annoying. She's like it's my full name, it's not my nickname, so I give him a break and I sound out -- she sounds out her name for him. Her name is Latora and she sounds it out.

Ann: Which is not difficult.

(26:00)

Aminatou: Yeah. It's like any time a white person tells you your name is difficult it's literally all vowels and I'm like what is wrong with you people?

Ann: Hmm.

Aminatou: Then the guy looks at her and he's like "I won't even try." He's like "All those names sound the same." So anyway she just goes through all this crap because he actually tells her, he's like "Those hood black girl names, they all sound the same so I refuse to try," and then he laughs. So she just inhales and she's like -- remember his name is Evan? And she goes "I completely get it, Todd," and smiles as innocently as possible.

Ann: [Laughs]

Aminatou: It gets to the point where other people start doing it as well. Not only is it hilarious but he's clearly not as fun about it. I mean to his face, everywhere, to other coworkers. "Hi, Jake." One line is like "Hi, Jake." Another is like "Billy asked me to get this to you, CC Josh. Finally he comes to my desk and asks to speak to me. He pronounces my name right this time. This time I say "Sure, Sam, what can I do for you?" He sighs and says "I get it, okay? I'm sorry. Please just stop." She goes "Finally I look at him and say 'You know what, Steve? I'll give it a try. I can't promise anything. White names don't come naturally to me.'"

Ann: Ugh, hero.

Aminatou: Early contender, like winner of the year. I laughed so hard.

Ann: Ugh, I love it.

[Music]

Aminatou: Ann, so some really good news, we -- and by we I mean all of our listeners because clearly we did nothing -- helped Zana Africa raise $30,000 over the holidays.

Ann: Oh my god, that is so many period supplies for so many girls.

Aminatou: Seriously! We're giving like 3,000 Kenyan girls period supplies and menstrual health. That's amazing.

(28:00)

Ann: Maybe it's the wine. I'm feeling really emotional about this right now. This is awesome.

Aminatou: Oh, I got fully emotional. Giving money to things I care about or whatever comes really easy to me and I feel like I've been kind of in that same routine of just like end-of-year giving and stuff like that. But this is the first time honestly I felt a little high and really, really good deep down about giving money to something so that was cool.

Ann: Right. And also that everyone who listens to this actually followed through and gave money and wasn't just like "Oh, that's a thing I should do" is so incredible.

Aminatou: Yeah, our listeners are awesome, man. I'm very verklempt. You guys are the best.

Ann: Oh, man, and totally related to this idea that, I don't know, giving is powerful and women giving is powerful -- I'm sure there were some men that gave in there and thanks to you too.

Aminatou: Dude, there was one. He tweeted at us and I got so excited about him.

Ann: Ugh, love it. Shout out to that dude. So I don't know, it was so inspiring to be part of giving this large chunk of money to one organization. We talked to our friend Ruth Ann Harnisch of the Harnisch Foundation about sort of everyday philanthropy or what it means to be giving of yourself and your time and your money in an ongoing way.

[Interview Starts]

Aminatou: Ruth Ann, thanks so much for joining us today. We were really excited to talk to you about a couple of things.

Ruth Ann: Well I'm excited to be with you. I love this and I'm sorry I have no period so I can't talk periods with you.

Aminatou: [Laughs]

Ann: I would like to think that we're happy to talk about other things and appeal to women and people who don't have periods too so I think that's 100% fine.

Aminatou: Exactly.

Ruth Ann: I'm so glad.

Aminatou: You know, the first thing I want to talk to you about is the Harnisch Foundation that you started because it's amazing projects. I love the tagline, "Creative, progressive, spirited philanthropy since 1998." Can you tell us a little bit more about the foundation and how it started and the work that you do there?

(30:05)

Ruth Ann: Well I used to be a journalist. I used to be a radio talk show host and a television news anchor and back in the days of media collapse and consolidation the last employer I had was purchased and closed by a competitor. And I found myself out of work essentially for the first time since I was 15 years of age. But since I had had the good fortune to marry a man with a, if you'll pardon the expression, good fortune . . . 

Aminatou: [Laughs]

Ruth Ann: He was compassionate enough to be generous with me and the investments he made on my behalf gave me enough what his assistant calls extra money to be able to share. So when I had no other paying job I became a full-time foundation executive. I've been so fortunate yet again that the assets have grown through the years, so I believe my first year's budget was $50,000, and we've now given over 10 million dollars worth of grants since the founding in 1998.

Aminatou: Wow.

Ruth Ann: And we grew from being focused on nothing in particular except helping people live better lives to now a rather narrow focus on gender and racial equity and justice and advancing inclusion and dignity for all in the world.

Ann: I have to say that both of us as women who are involved in media and working on media, so many of the projects you do seem to have -- or the things that you fund directly affect work that I care about, women that I know, projects that I'm involved in. I think the same is true for you, Amina, right?

(32:15)

Aminatou: Yeah. You know, I was with Ruth Ann at Sundance last year, ran into her, and I had just come out of a screening of The Hunting Ground which is an incredible movie about sexual violence on college campuses and was such a mess. I had been crying all day. And everybody in that . . . you know, I know people who were involved in making the movie and also it just brought back all this campus experience. And I remember seeing you that day, Ruth Ann, and being like yes, this is the power woman who funds all of these things and exposes systemic failures everywhere. And I remember that carrying me through the day.

Ruth Ann: Well, you know, it probably was the most meaningful investment I made of my not just dollars but my time and frankly my emotions. The personal involvement. Philanthropy is a profession just like reporting was a profession. Being a radio talk show host, a TV talk show host, an anchor person, a reporter, those things are professions and you're supposed to be able to leave a certain amount of that at the office door when you go home just for self-care purposes. But every now and then someone you're working with gets under your skin and into your head for a little bit longer.

And The Hunting Ground allowed me as a sponsor of screenings -- I didn't just contribute to the making of the movie and the social outreach of the movie, I sponsored several theatrical screenings and one in particular that comes to mind was on the campus of Middle Tennessee State University. My long-time colleague from Nashville Media, now a dean at MTS, Beverly Keel who helped arrange this, two of the young women who are featured in the movie whose organization End Rape on Campus, Andrea Pino and Annie Clark, came along to be on the extensive panel discussion that followed the screening. And as happens every time there's a screening people came up afterwards, lined up or stood up in the Q&A and identified themselves. I believe at that screening there were at least five -- maybe six -- women who stood up and said "This is my story. This happened to me." One of them was probably in her 60s.

Aminatou: Wow.

(35:00)

Ruth Ann: Another was in her 40s and she said that it had happened to her on that very campus and that she was back as a student in school for the first time since the assault. That it took her 20-some years to get the courage to come back to finish her degree. And there were a couple in their 20s, and one young woman stood up and said "It happened to me on this campus last week." And Andrea and Annie do not leave until every person who wants a hug and wants to talk to them gets a chance to be there in person, face-to-face with the two of them, to tell their story, and to find out what to do next. It's the most moving thing. One simply doesn't do one of those screenings without somebody disclosing.

(36:00)

At its premier at Sundance people came up to me whom I knew. I would've never imagined that this was their story, but the tears running down their faces and the embraces they gave me and the thanks for making the movie told me it was their story.

Ann: The scope of the problems that your foundation works on, I mean everything from diversity to something like sexual assault, these are big, entrenched, ongoing, long-running problems and I'm wondering if you could talk a little bit about how you make decisions about, yes, this is the right moment for this type of action or this sort of project to work on, you know, a problem that is really just so huge?

Ruth Ann: I have long had a sense that there are a few things you can nail in the short-term but the true impact comes from recognizing that we are all part of a long wave. You know, your voices on a podcast representing something fresh and different that would've been unheard of when I was your age. The kind of freedom and opportunity you have to say what you want without censorship and to find your audience and those who are empowered by your voices? This is a new era.

And so I invest in what Shonda Rhimes refers to as normalizing media, those who make it, those whose stories are told, those who are the helm of projects, those who get to green light projects, those who get to pay for projects. "We can't be what we can't see," says Geena Davis of the Geena Davis Institute of Gender and Media, and she's asked for something as simple as directors making 50% of their crowd scenes female and of course adding as diverse as possible. But right now women are only I believe her stats are 17% of crowd scenes. How crazy is that?

Ann: There's just no excuse.

Aminatou: Ridiculous. Yeah, there's no excuse. That's the way to put it.

(38:30)

Ruth Ann: So I do what I can right now investing in specific films that I hope will provoke dialogue and move legislation where necessary and change hearts and minds where hoped for. Investing in the careers of specific filmmakers. For example, Ava DuVernay's company is available for little gifts and investments. I found that on a Christmas gift list I think it was on The Route. I had no idea I could put money into what she's doing, but I did immediately as soon as I knew that that was a great Christmas gift to myself and the world, you know? Invest in the new voices.

I invest in the Female Filmmaker's Initiative through the Sundance Institute where female directors and producers get a year's worth of mentorship, coaching, and support for their next efforts. Invest in the long-term. These people we hope will have a career that'll span a half century. And invest in the short-term in those things that it'll be opening soon in a theater near you.

(39:45)

Ann: If everything is sort of building on the next thing do you have some goals for 2016 or some thoughts about how the work that you did last year or in recent years, you're going to focus on building that?

Ruth Ann: Well, I have some future announcements that I'm not at liberty to spill the beans right now because those announcements will have to wait until Sundance but there are some new initiatives coming that I'm really pleased to be a part of. Maybe you read about that super-secret meeting of Hollywood executives that convened under the auspices of women and film?

Aminatou: Yes.

Ruth Ann: And the Sundance Institute. There were a few mainstream articles that reported on that. Well I can tell you that some of my 2016 gifting is going directly to the implementation of some of the productive suggestions that came out of that started out secret but turned out not to be secret Hollywood meeting.

Aminatou: And Keri Putnam who is the executive director of Sundance is also a lady who has really been really helpful in this space and somebody who promotes women's voices and always pushes for that next thing forward so that's really exciting knowing that you will be working with them again.

Ruth Ann: Well, you know, I'm one of those donors who gets called by the research firms doing the feasibility study on non-profits. They got some of my money and they want a lot more of my money so they research how much of your money might you be willing to give to XYZ projects in the future? And when I got contacted on the Sundance Feasibility Study I let the researcher know I invest in Keri Putnam's leadership. I'm investing in her vision of inclusion, her hiring of people like Moira Griffin to bring new vision and new voices, to her unwavering commitment to advancing women before the camera, behind the camera, and writing the checks. It's her leadership that I'm investing in.

(42:15)

I have tremendous confidence in what she wants to accomplish and the way she goes about it. Her resume is flawless and her vision is something I can truly buy into. So I think, you know, when it comes to our girlfriends it's really important that when you can you let people know that investing in women is good business.

Aminatou: Yeah, that's amazing. Also her resume is flawless is the best compliment anybody can get on Call Your Girlfriend so thank you for saying that. [Laughs] And yeah, you know, she's just a phenomenal, phenomenal woman. I have more of a practical question too: what would you say to kind of this next generation of women who want to be philanthropists and what we should have our goals set on and what are ways that we can get started in kind of this arena also? Because this is a new realization for me. I was never -- it's really interesting, I've worked around philanthropy for a long time and never thought that I could be done. And the more annoyed and outraged I get at issues, all I can think of is oh, I want a lot of money to deal with these problems one day. This literally has become a driving force for me.

Ruth Ann: I guarantee you you are already a philanthropist. It's not the size or the dollar amount of what it is that you are contributing to make the world a better place as you envision it. Philanthropy is fancy language for love of humanity and everybody has something that they care passionately about, whether it's a health cause that took the lives of a loved one or whether it's a social justice cause or whether it's the school they went to or the church they attend or you name it. People have their passionate causes and whatever those causes are you can be doing something to choose and support somebody doing something to envision your idea of what it looks like to deal with that situation.

(44:40)

And I hate when people say "Well, I want to start my own," because there are so many out there that need support already. Somebody's probably doing what you would like to see accomplished in this world. And it can be volunteering your time. In your case, mentioning them on your podcast or talking them up somewhere is valuable support because you're a brand name and a trusted resource. So just being a friend to a non-profit is being a philanthropist.

Anybody can start as small as they like or join in a giving circle. Figure out how much it is you can afford to kick into something every month. Get together with your girlfriends and pick something. There's an organization called 100 Plus Women Who Care and I think it's once a quarter -- the chapter I belong to -- they get together. Three non-profits have been nominated by members. They make their pitches and everybody who comes writes a 100 dollar check to the winning organization, and sometimes people write checks to the others too.

(46:00)

But at the Nashville chapter they can get as much as $10,000 in one night just by women giving 100 dollars in concert to something. There's no limit to our imagination when it comes to how we can make a difference about the causes we care about.

Ann: That's great -- a great reminder.

Ruth Ann: You know, there's . . . I would point you towards our Awesome Without Borders project for some big ideas. Our Awesome Without Borders project gives one thousand dollars, no strings attached, every week to something that advances the causes of awesomeness in the world. It doesn't have to be a 501(c)(3), a registered charity. It could be just a project you're trying to accomplish that a thousand dollars would make a big difference and would be awesome.

Aminatou: Yeah, you know, our pal Laurenellen McCann in D.C. recreated the Alley of Doom a couple of blocks away from me in D.C. and that was a grant from the Awesome Foundation and we had so much fun doing it.

Ruth Ann: Well, there you go. Our chapter does once a week. Most chapters do once a month. And I would just love to have some applications from your audience because I know they're up to awesome things.

Aminatou: That's amazing. Ruth Ann, thank you so, so, so, so much for taking time out to talk to us. Now all I can think of is what I can apply for for an Awesome Grant and I hope our listeners are also all on top of it. You know, seeing the way that you really just mentor women and make room and space for them at just  every level is something that for me is really important and I know has been a source of constant inspiration so thank you.

(48:12)

Ruth Ann: That is how we're going to accomplish things, empowering as many of us as possible. Everybody's got a contribution to make. Everybody's got endless gifts to share. And tapping that untapped capacity empowers all of us exponentially and there's just no downside to it.

Ann: Well thanks so much. We really appreciate all the work you're doing and hope everyone is furiously Googling all of these foundations and opportunities right now.

Ruth Ann: Big hug, girlfriends!

[Interview Ends]

Aminatou: That was awesome, right? She's so inspirational and, you know, generous like the true meaning of the word generous really comes to mind here in how she spends her time and her money. I'm really excited that we all got to get a little bit of that.

Ann: Also I feel like we're just laying a foundation of the strongest lady vibes. Like that's what Ruth Ann is. That's how I want to feel the whole year.

Aminatou: Yeah, that's how I want to feel the whole year. She really has just set the tone for how I want to dominate all year.

Ann: Yes.

Aminatou: You can find us many places on the Internet, on our website callyourgirlfriend.com, you can download our show on the Acast app or on iTunes where we would love it if you left us a review.

Ann: We also have a brand new newsletter which we will start sending at the end of this month. It's called The Bleed and you can sign up at callyourgirlfriend.com/thebleed.

Aminatou: The Bleed!

Ann: Every month.

Aminatou: Ugh. You can also tweet at us at @callyrgf or email us at callyrgf@gmail.com.

Ann: If you want to see our faces IRL we're doing a live event in San Francisco on February 19th at the SFJCC. You can find info about that on our website.

Aminatou: And lastly you can even leave us a short and sweet voicemail at 714-681-2943. That's 714-681-CYGF. This podcast is produced by Gina Delvac.

Ann: Gina Delvac!

Aminatou: I'll see you on the Internet, boo.

Ann: See you on the Internet.